Mirror, mirror on the wall…

I’m curious…Do you have mirrors in your home? Do you have a full length one specifically? Where is it positioned? By the front door?

How often do you look in the mirror? What do you say to yourself as you see your reflection, are you complimentary or critical? Do you smile as your reflection smiles back? Or perhaps you’ve limited looking in the mirror to a quick glance as you dash out of the door just to make sure you don’t have tooth paste on your chin?

Whatever your relationship with mirrors and all that they reflect, please allow me to share with you my thoughts on them and why I think everyone should invest in a floor length mirror and dare I say, place it beside their front door…

I recently had the pleasure of visiting a friend who had the most beautiful full length mirror in her hallway, it is gorgeous, a real bold statement decor wise, not just as a visual impact but also because of the light it reflects back into the room – opulent and stylish! I was indeed taken in by it’s magnificence and the more I considered it’s impact I realised that the biggest statement it would make would be on those that used it every day.

It’s my view that mirrors can play a vital role in our emotional and physical well being. I used to think it was a vanity thing but actually it’s so much more than that. When we are comfortable with what and who we see standing before us then we are truly comfortable and confident with ourselves.

I guess the big questions for many people is why does it matter and how do we get there?

Over the years I, like many of us, have had a mixed relationship with mirrors . From my teenage years when I would look begrudgingly only to find fault, to my early 20’s and 30’s where I refused to even look at myself in the mirror at the hairdressers, to now being in my 50’s, and overall, happy with what I see reflected back.

Having a healthy and compassionate relationship with your own reflection can help you in a number of ways, these include;

• acceptance of all that your body does for you, all that it has been through and all it promises to do for you in the future.
• a greater understanding of your body shape, what works for you and what doesn’t – giving you greater confidence when dressing it
• clarity on how your body changes over time – it doesn’t all have to be negative!
• the ability to see the beauty in yourself – even if it takes one small thing at a time.
• a deeper understanding and appreciation for who you are right now, giving you greater power to show up to the outside world in the way you want to be seen.

You may be wondering how you begin to do any of that when you have perhaps shied away from being anything but critical for so long?

If you find looking in the mirror uncomfortable try focusing on just one small area or feature at a time – your eyes are a great starting point. Begin by looking at them, see how the different colours blend together in your iris, look at the size and depth of colour in your pupils, admire their uniqueness and how we don’t have the symmetry we perhaps think we do – be grateful for all that your eyes have done and continue to do for you. Once you are comfortable with looking at those be sure to compliment them and smile as you look into them and then consider another feature, perhaps your nose or your hands as you build your confidence to looking at and appreciating your full body.

Having an appreciation for our bodies isn’t just about our emotional well being, it also effects how we move our bodies, how we treat them, how we nourish them and how all that we do can affect them both positively and negatively – it can give us a whole new appreciation and understanding for what feels right to us.
If you find yourself turning to critical thoughts or language as you look in a mirror please remember that IT DOESN’T HELP! At best, that kind of personal criticism is unhelpful and unkind (and in my experience very rarely leads to positive action) and at worse it can lead to all kinds of unhealthy body image issues, self harm, dis-ordered thinking and dangerous behaviours.

Being kind to yourself isn’t just about taking a break, reading a good book, indulging in your passion for a long soak or getting outside – it’s also about being kind to who you are, what you’re made up of and how you present yourself in the world.

You are not alone in whatever thoughts you may have about your reflection and I can pretty much guarantee that your perception of what you see is by no means the real deal, its merely a perception built on insecurities, past experiences, outside expectations and a mass of mixed cultural messages – it’s not surprising that we are all a little confused, is it?

As for the placing of the full length mirror? Well, just imagine as you get yourself ready to face the day, before you step out into the world you take a final look, you smile at yourself, you say a cheery ‘Hello’ and you pay yourself a compliment – can you imagine how positively magical you will feel as you set foot beyond the threshold? And if you can’t, consider the opposite scenario – you know, the one where you catch your reflection in the bathroom 2″ x 4″ mirror, check you haven’t got toothpaste on your chin, pick a piece of dry skin off your nose, criticise your ‘out of control’ eyebrows, promise yourself a facial sometime in the future to help with your (perceived) double chin issue and dash for the front door!

I’ll leave you to decide which has the best start to any day and we all know that the way we step out, can, without doubt, shape the rest of the day and even the week.

I’d love to hear from you about this topic as I know some of you will have strong views on it.